oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
