Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
