capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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