It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
