Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
