First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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