Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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