Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
