I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
