the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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