I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
