3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wrigley field is MILF paradise
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
