I think I am morally bankrupt
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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