stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
