And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
