i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
