I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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