i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
