Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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