he wants to bone in the snuggie
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
