I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
