Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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