Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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