Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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