You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
