Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
