Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
