hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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