Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
