You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
