Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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