Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
