you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
