Dignity is for republicans.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
