dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
