Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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