I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
