we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
