You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
