Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize