Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
