I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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