He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
