you would pick up someone in the library
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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