its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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