the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
