She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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