I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
