I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
