Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
